Love Yourself First

I don’t claim to know what love is, all I can do is speculate.  I feel for all people it is something totally different.  A persons definition of love changes so much over the course of life, that to carve it into stone is completely rediculous.  For me, my definition has changed so many times, I feel lost in the sea of love with barely so much as a plank of wood.  I have at times felt I loved someone, but I think it was a complete lie.  At this point in my life, I feel that love should be defined by both people of the party.  Being truthful to the other person seems to me the only true type of love.  I haven’t dated someone for multiple years, I haven’t even gotten close to some of the feelings that people have described to me about love, but I have felt the spark.  To ignore love because you haven’t gotten it in the first fourth of your life is just impatient.  

 

My biggest hatred of love is that some people believe that to be truly happy you must have that other half.  I see people living their life for someone else.  At a certain point, I see no problem with this, but what makes you think you shall be happy from somewhere other than yourself?  I feel people are no looking inside for happiness.  I do the same thing, but if your arn’t happy with yourself, I find it hard to believe that you ever will be.  For the past few years I have had heartbreaks, and I have broken hearts.  I have had really good friends both female and male that I have loved in the highest sense with sexual acts never passing through my head.  I have dated girls and we both knew it wasn’t going to work, but decided to try it anyways just to uncover the truth we both knew from the beginning.  I think love starts within you and can be greatly enhanced by another individual.  I don’t believe that looking for happiness soley outside is the way to go, because I don’t think it will ever happen.  

 

Some of the problem I feel comes from the media.  Growing up, TV, Movies, and books all give you an “idea” of love.  People grow up thinking thats how it’s supposed to be.  Fuck that.   Love is something that you define, and it starts with yourself.  But hey, don’t take my word for it…